Coffee head!

My family thinks I've lost my mind. There have been quite a few "Lucy Ricardo" type schemes I have pulled in the past, but this one takes the cake. I truly would not be surprised if, at any minute, men in white coats come to take me away; this scheme involves coffee. First, let me back-track a bit.

A few days ago, while on my mini-vacation, I decided I needed a change, and my crazy idea "took root" so to speak. I am a brunette with blonde highlights, and as I gazed at my reflection in the hotel bathroom mirror, I tried to think of a way to bring out those highlights. I'm not a fan of costly chemicals that will fry my hair, so I tried to think of a natural way to achieve my goal. Lemons? No. I was afraid it would bleach my hair, not to mention I feared my head would smell like rotten lemons after a few days. I remembered I had brought my book Amazing Kicken Cures along with me on the trip. It was filled with home remedy suggestions for things such as jelly fish stings and sunburns; surely they would have something about hair highlighting. After a few minutes of searching in the book, I found it:

(from the book)Maxwell House Coffee. Highlight brown or red hair by rinsing it with Maxwell House Coffee for a rich and shiny color (p. 174).


I don't have Maxwell House. I looked around the room and saw the coffee from breakfast in the pot. I bet Wolfgang Puck coffee would work though. I washed my hair, then took the cold coffee to the bathroom. I was just pouring it over my head when John walked into the hotel room.

"Hey Deb--" He stared at me in shock as I rubbed the coffee into my hair. "Um, baby. I think you drink coffee in a cup, not through your head."

"I know. I'm highlighting my hair."

"O-Okay then," he said backing out of the bathroom and eyeing my suspiciously. My hair did turn out shiny, but the ride home was strained the next day.

"I can't stand it anymore!" John yelped as he rolled down the windows. A blast of cool air hit me in the side of the head."

"Hey, what's the big idea?" I demanded, rolling the window up.

"It's your hair. It smells like coffee. I can smell it while I'm driving. I have the urge to pour creamer in your hair and sip on it." I knew John was joking, but I was not amused. My hair did have a strong odor of coffee.

This morning, as I poured my coffee, John watched me. "You are going to put that in a cup and not in your head aren't you?" I smiled sweetly and nodded. It's going to take a while to convince my family I'm not crazy.