Did you hear?

Inspired by Ms. Vicki's blog.


The following is just my rambling opinion.

Have you ever played the game "Gossip"? You begin by whispering a simple phase, like Jim has a red truck" in your neighbor's ear, and by the time it reaches the end of the line it's "Jim was driving drunk because his wife cheated on him and he crashed his red truck which was fixing to get repossessed."

Gossip starts out innocent, maybe something speculative containing a grain of truth, but as it progresses, it evolves into an ugly, putrid smelling, tangled ball of lies, affecting everyone it touches. In my opinion, gossip starts for two reasons, the first being boredom and self-gratification. The statement, "Jim has a red truck" in direct and to the point; it's also lacking excitement. Inevitably, someone, bored with just the facts, takes the statement and embellishes it. Not only are they adding "zing" to to the story, they're making themselves look important, they know more to the story than every one else did. The listener takes the new story, adds their own spin to it, and as you know, everything snowballs out of control.

For example, after my dad died, I heard a friend of my mother's asking her if Daddy had insurance. I remember thinking how nosy it was of the person to ask such a question. My mother, in her grief-striken state, mistook the nosiness for concern, and confided my dad did have insurance. Several months later, another old family friend paid us a visit, obviously distraught. "I thought I should let you both know about the rumor circulating about you," she said. She went on to say the rumor was Daddy left us 3 million dollars in life insurance. It explained why, over the past several months, people we hadn't heard from was offering to help us with anything we needed; they were using us for our reported 3 million.

We laid the gossip to rest by saying "If there's 3 million, where did we hide it? We can't remember."

Another reason is malice and jealosy. It's becoming more common for some people to want to see others fail or hit "rock bottom", especially celebrities; ergo the thriving business of gossip rag publications. But is it our right to have to know their dirty little secrets? Oh, I know some say it's the price you pay for fame; but, aren't they human too? Don't they have rights?

Malicous gossip in politics, aka "mud-slinging", to me is the most hurtful. The canidates go to any lengths to get "dirt," even involving the opposing party's family members. I learned this the hard way when John was running for political office. There were people literally following me around town, and spying on my house trying to dish the dirt on John and our family. On one particular occasion, I was asleep on the front porch. I was awakened by the sound of vehicle tires crunching on the gravel in my drive. The rosebushes in front of the porch kept me hidden from view. Carefully, I peeped over the top and saw a maroon car I had seen follow me several times in town come up my drive. (Yes I know it was the same car. After the third time I saw it behind me I had taken down the plate number.)

I jumped up from my spot, the rage welling up in me exploding as I uttered a hoarse cry and headed for my car. How dare they continue to harass us! The maroon car whipped around and took off back up the drive. I was in hot pursuit in my Dodge Ram. Anger was fueling me, and I didn't stop to think of the possible repercussions.

At the end of the drive, the maroon car was forced to wait while a stream of cars crept passed on the highway. I got out of my car, and banged on the driver's window of the maroon car. The window rolled down, and I was face-to-face with the driver. "What do you want?" she spat. It took every ounce of self control I had to keep from dragging her out the window by her hair.

'This is going to stop. . .now!" I said through clenched teeth.

"This is politics, honey," she sneered. "But what will you do if I don't?" I knew better than to threaten her with violence, that's just what she wanted.

"If you don't stay away from me and my family, I'm going to file a police report against you for stalking. Then I'll call the paper and tell them what happened. Wouldn't look good for your canidate. But after all, that's politics. I'm not running though, John is." She hurled a cultural slur at me before zipping away. It worked, she left me alone.

I'm not perfect, I do gossip; but I do try and "keep a lid on it ." The key to controlling gossip is to stop it before it starts. We may think gossip is harmless, but it has the power to ruin lives.

What's your opinion? If you'd rather your comment be private, feel free to email me.