There is a conspiracy against me, I know there is. My oldest and the toddler has joined forces to drive me insane. Today, as I walked down the hall with the laundry, I heard the unmistakable sounds of childish whispering and giggling coming from their room. I glanced in and saw them seated on Seth's bed, their heads together in what appeared to be a very entertaining conversation. "Now this is what I like to see. No bickering, just two brothers enjoying each other." Like puppets on a string, their heads snapped up, and they turned to face me; the oldest looking like a "cat that swallowed the canary," the toddler sporting a look of comic indignation.
"Nothing to see. Move along," Seth said flippantly. I should have known something was going on. Though my boys love each other, they frequently fight like cats and dogs. Their first strike was this afternoon. Robert initiated the attack by spilling an entire bottle of soda on the floor, then doing his version of River Dance in it.
"So tell me, Mommy. What would you do if Robert was triplets?" Judging from the sneer on his face, it soon became clear he had made it his quest to see how far he could push me.
Probably hide on the roof or run away from home, I thought. Instead I smiled and said, "Deal with it one day at a time." Seth was disappointed in my answer, and poutingly turned back to his movie.
As I scrubbed the soda off the china cabinet, I had a vision of me perched on the roof, a fireman in a cherry-picker trying to convince me "everything would be okay.' After I inched my way down, they would wisk me off in a white jacket for a few sessions of elctro-shock therapy. "Yes," the neighbors would tell the media, shaking their head. "We always knew that biscuit wasn't completely baked."
We had a quiet Memorial Day. John bar-b-qued a brisket, and I for once, managed not to fall, trip or otherwise injure myself. How was yours?
About Me
- Deb
- I grew up in the Blackland Prairie region of Texas, where miles of grassland and my horse were my best friends. Married for over twenty years, I now reside in the Texas Hill Country with my husband John, and two children, Jonathan (my older son) and Joseph, who has autism. My stories have been published in newspapers, magazines, and in several of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Amelia Frump and her Peanut Butter Loving Imagination, my first children's book, is published by Dancing With Bear Publishing.
No comments:
Post a Comment