Saturday, November 05, 2005

An oops and my toddler

Oh crap . . . I've really done it this time. Always the one eager to take risks, I tried the Haloscan comment program. I like the program, but it erased all the comments left in the past. Arrgh!

My toddler, Robert, has been battling allergies for about a week, and tonight he had another round with them. He was in wonderful spirits when he went to bed, but a few hours later he awoke with a hollow rasping cough. That sound causes my heart to sink to the bottom of my stomach.

When he was an infant, he had RSV, and was almost hospitalized. Ever once in a while now, he has an asthmatic episode, and I have to give him a breathing treatment. It's quite an ordeal. He sits in my lap and cries almost the entire time; he hates the mask being put over his face. He's still too young to understand that this meant to help him, not hurt him. By the end of the treatment, we are both physically and emotionally drained. I can honestly sympathize with him. When I was a little older than he was, I was hospitalized with pneumonia. After I was released, I got another case of pneumonia; this time I almost died from it.

That's why I have a tendency to panic when I hear that horrible cough; I'm scared to death that it will turn into pneumonia, and I'll loose my baby. If that ever happens, I'm done for. My children are my world. I love them more then anything.

Thankfully, after listening to his tiny lungs, my husband and I determined that it was just upper congestion; no need for a breathing treatment. It was difficult for Robert to sleep, so I held him while I rocked in the rocking chair. I was prepared to stay up all night if I had to.

Robert sighed lightly and laid his little angelic face against my shoulder before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I watched him sleep; he looked so vunerable, so innocent. It seemed like only yesterday that I first held him in my arms. I will do anything withing my moral fiber to insure his happiness and well-being. He is hope, he is the future, he is my child who I will treasure forever.

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