When I least expected it

It happened when I least expected it. My family and I were at our favorite eatery when my invisible assailant grabbed me in its vise-like grip and rendered me helpless. My torturer was the hiccups. I was minding my own business, happily snacking on chips and salsa, when they hit. These were not the petite "Southern belle" style hiccups, these were loud, obnoxious, and continuous.

"Okay, it's not funny anymore," John said after the fifth hiccup.

"You think I'm doing this on purpose?"

"I wouldn't put anything past you." Now, people at the tables nearby glanced my way. Never at a lose for words, John smiled at one staring couple and said, "This is just her warm-up routine. Wait till you see her grand finale." His comment lightened the mood, and a few pople offered advice an how to get rid of my problem. I tried everything they suggested: drinking a glass of tea without taking a breath, drinking from the wrong side of my water glass, holding my breath. . .nothing worked. Then I remembered an old cure my grandmother taught me: eat a spoonful of sugar.

Oblivious to everything around me, I ripped open a sugar packet, tilted my head back, and poured it in my mouth. I swallowed the sugar in one gulp. It worked! The hiccups were gone. I basked in the glow of my accomplishment until I head a gentle voice behind me.

"Uhm, madam, you're food is coming right out, but if you're that hungry I can bring you some chips and salsa. Red-faced, I turned and saw our waitress standing behind me. She had witnessed the whole sugar-eating incident.

"Oh no, I'm fine." True to her word, the waitress returned a few minutes later with our food.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, eying me cautiously. I nodded and stuffed a forkful of rice in my mouth. I've gotten myself into enough trouble for one day; if I open my mouth right now, I might say the wrong thing, I thought.

I glanced over at John. He had a look of amusement and irritation shining in his eyes. "Geez Deb, I can't take you anywhere," he quipped. Oh well, at least the hiccups were gone.

*BTW this is the same restaurant I refered to in my story Sasee published. After this incident, it's a wonder the owner of the restaurant doesn't have a poster of me on the register, saying Don't admit this person.

I created a new website for my writing only. Please feel free to check it out at http://home.centurytel.net/followingmydream.